Post by Kelly Goldsmith on Sept 23, 2014 1:23:31 GMT
Hi everyone! To avoid making this extremely long and unbearable (spoiler alert, it will be anyway), I'm going to jump right in. Also, keep in mind that I am going to be 100% candid and honest in this statement and in answers to any questions that you have for me, which should be a refreshing change of pace from what I've (admittedly) had to do for the last few rounds lol please love me
Let's start in the middle with what I consider to be a huge turning point in the game for me: the Majority Rules challenge. When the results of that challenge were posted and I saw my name appear literally just once for "tightest pair" with Nat (AKA pretty much who the majority thinks is sheeping Natalie the most), I had the horrifying realization that I...was actually not seen as a worthwhile strategic, social, or physical presence by the majority of the people in the game thus far (thanks guys). Ed won things across the board from most strategic to biggest All-Star potential and Natalie won the elusive but also damning "most likely to win the game" award. I won...basically nothing.
i'm sorry y'all know i had to put this GIF in here somewhere
I think this has a lot to do with my extremely under-the-radar style of gameplay. No, I can't say that I ever made a huge flashy game-changing move, but I can say that I was able to adapt and deal with pretty much everything that was thrown my way. Except for the one round where Malcolm flipped and Colby left (damn you Malcolm), my finger was always on the pulse of this game. Of course, the crazy idol play at F8 was pretty much Ed’s baby, but I think a lot of people didn't realize how much I planned and strategized with Ed during that round (and I believe Edgardo would corroborate this). I went to great lengths to make sure that I wasn't the one taking the blame after it was said and done, but that eventually made me seem less consequential to that move happening than was really the case. Of course, perception is all that matters in the end, so I knew I had to do something about this.
There was one saving grace for my chances in this game and her name was Denise--the person that the majority thought was "the hardest to talk to" and the "biggest floater." I don't necessarily agree with this assessment of Denise, but like I said, the jury's perception is what counts. This was all the evidence I needed to move forward with an ounce of hope that I could still conceivably win this game. I created a F2 alliance with Denise by making sure she was also aware that her best chance of winning was against me. Yes, I will admit that at this point I was basically double-dipping my F2s because I already had an explicit one with Edgardo and an implied one with Natalie. This isn't something that I consider the most tactful social move, but I figured (and maybe I was wrong in doing so) that Ed and Natalie were also looking to bring Denise to the end after coming to the same realization that I did.
I think there is the perception that I voted Edgardo and Natalie out because it's what Charlie basically said to do in his exit speech and what Lex had implied to me when campaigning to stay at F7, but I considered those things as confirmation from the jury that the plan I already had in mind to bring Denise to the end was the one I should follow through on. Yes, it was a little agonizing to have to play the fool and publicly keep up the perception to Malcolm, Lex, and Charlie that I was going to be naively loyal to Edgardo and Natalie to the end. But, I knew very well that if I actually went with either one of them, I would most likely be doomed to 3rd place at the most. Maybe "doing what the jury tells me to do" was cowardly, but I wanted to be able to show the jury that I could understand where they were coming from and what they expected me to prove with the time I had left in the game. Up until that point, I hadn't done much that was explicitly visible.
When F5 rolled around, I had to go back on my word to Edgardo and vote him out of the game. I made sure Denise was on board with this as well just so that the blame for voting Ed out would be diffused across the both of us (this is also a reason for voting Natalie out at F4 with Denise rather than at F3 if I had somehow won the final challenge). Still, I did this without being truthful to Edgardo and I know that was particularly hurtful especially after getting close to him during the F8 round. However, I realized that if I gave in to my emotions and told him that I was voting for him beforehand, he was more than capable enough to use that as ammunition to turn it all around on me somehow. Maybe it was an unnecessary lie, but I didn't want to leave any room for a mistake especially since someone could still miraculously pull out an idol at that point if they had one.
And then, F4. Obviously, this is the round that caused the most amount of fallout, at least in regard to my game. I knew that voting out Natalie would be a HUGE risk and one that could potentially set me up for the embarrassment of having to argue to the jury for why my game was better than Alina's game. I had a few reasons for doing this that I want to elaborate on right now, but I'm sure I will get more questions about this as well:
1) Yes, Alina was a massive challenge threat. But the only live challenge that she won was posting-based, and I realized from looking at last season's board that the final challenge was most likely going to be puzzle-based.
2) Natalie had previously shown that she was a beast at puzzles during one of the pre-merge challenges. Alina's puzzle score wasn't nearly as good. Also, the way Natalie systematically attacked the F4 challenge was a little intimidating. I knew if she put half as much effort into the final challenge, she would win easily.
3) If Natalie had won the final challenge, I don't believe she would have taken me over Denise (and this was sort of confirmed when Denise told me at F4 that Natalie had told her that she would vote for me if Alina won that immunity).
4) Even if Natalie had taken me to the end, I would have probably lost.
5) Bringing Alina to the Final 3 meant that I would have to beat her in the final challenge to really have a shot of winning, but I was able to guarantee F2 for myself because Alina would have brought me to the end over Denise (I think Alina would corroborate this). Obviously this was not acceptable since I would still lose, but setting myself up to be guaranteed F2 was pretty nice, especially after spending the majority of the post-merge worried that I wouldn't even get a chance to defend my game in the FTC if whoever won final immunity brought Denise to the end over me.
I just want to end by saying that there is a difference between being sorry and being regretful. I am sorry for a lot of things I did in this game, because I am not actually a desperate bloodthirsty robot. I'm sorry to Colby for relentlessly campaigning to keep Malcolm in the game over Vytas on Wynn because that ended up being Colby’s downfall at merge. I'm sorry to Lex and Charlie for not really giving them a chance because I knew voting them out was in my best interest. I'm sorry to Edgardo for not telling him that I was voting him out when I easily could have. I'm sorry to Alina for getting her hopes up about the F2. And Nat, I'm sorry to you if I hurt you by voting you out. I genuinely believe that what I did to you is more than enough reason to not vote for me in the end, but I refuse to call it a stupid move strategically; in fact, I consider it my best move in this game.
I'm sorry for all of those things like any normal person would be, but the key point is that I don't regret doing any of those things. I truly believe that if I had not made each and every one of those moves, I would not be in this position right now. And I hope you all will sympathize with the very simple fact that I wanted to win this game just as much as all of you did.
P.S. In case I haven't apologized enough already, I am also sorry for how ridiculously long this is. I can already tell I'm going to get some flak (FROM ONE PERSON IN PARTICULAR) for not being concise about this, but I know from experience that this particular jury values strategy pretty highly so I wanted to make sure my strategy was completely laid bare for you all. I'd appreciate if you took the time to read it but if you want a TL;DR I can do that too. As of now, this is it:
Oh and ONE LAST THING I PROMISE. Before I forget, thank you so much to Jeremiah, Aras, Brian for hosting such a fun game and to all the viewers for keeping us entertained! I've had a blast and I definitely think this was a fun game with a great cast that led to a (mostly) exciting post-merge.
Okay, that's it. I look forward to getting completely wrecked by your questions, jury!!!
Let's start in the middle with what I consider to be a huge turning point in the game for me: the Majority Rules challenge. When the results of that challenge were posted and I saw my name appear literally just once for "tightest pair" with Nat (AKA pretty much who the majority thinks is sheeping Natalie the most), I had the horrifying realization that I...was actually not seen as a worthwhile strategic, social, or physical presence by the majority of the people in the game thus far (thanks guys). Ed won things across the board from most strategic to biggest All-Star potential and Natalie won the elusive but also damning "most likely to win the game" award. I won...basically nothing.
i'm sorry y'all know i had to put this GIF in here somewhere
I think this has a lot to do with my extremely under-the-radar style of gameplay. No, I can't say that I ever made a huge flashy game-changing move, but I can say that I was able to adapt and deal with pretty much everything that was thrown my way. Except for the one round where Malcolm flipped and Colby left (damn you Malcolm), my finger was always on the pulse of this game. Of course, the crazy idol play at F8 was pretty much Ed’s baby, but I think a lot of people didn't realize how much I planned and strategized with Ed during that round (and I believe Edgardo would corroborate this). I went to great lengths to make sure that I wasn't the one taking the blame after it was said and done, but that eventually made me seem less consequential to that move happening than was really the case. Of course, perception is all that matters in the end, so I knew I had to do something about this.
There was one saving grace for my chances in this game and her name was Denise--the person that the majority thought was "the hardest to talk to" and the "biggest floater." I don't necessarily agree with this assessment of Denise, but like I said, the jury's perception is what counts. This was all the evidence I needed to move forward with an ounce of hope that I could still conceivably win this game. I created a F2 alliance with Denise by making sure she was also aware that her best chance of winning was against me. Yes, I will admit that at this point I was basically double-dipping my F2s because I already had an explicit one with Edgardo and an implied one with Natalie. This isn't something that I consider the most tactful social move, but I figured (and maybe I was wrong in doing so) that Ed and Natalie were also looking to bring Denise to the end after coming to the same realization that I did.
I think there is the perception that I voted Edgardo and Natalie out because it's what Charlie basically said to do in his exit speech and what Lex had implied to me when campaigning to stay at F7, but I considered those things as confirmation from the jury that the plan I already had in mind to bring Denise to the end was the one I should follow through on. Yes, it was a little agonizing to have to play the fool and publicly keep up the perception to Malcolm, Lex, and Charlie that I was going to be naively loyal to Edgardo and Natalie to the end. But, I knew very well that if I actually went with either one of them, I would most likely be doomed to 3rd place at the most. Maybe "doing what the jury tells me to do" was cowardly, but I wanted to be able to show the jury that I could understand where they were coming from and what they expected me to prove with the time I had left in the game. Up until that point, I hadn't done much that was explicitly visible.
When F5 rolled around, I had to go back on my word to Edgardo and vote him out of the game. I made sure Denise was on board with this as well just so that the blame for voting Ed out would be diffused across the both of us (this is also a reason for voting Natalie out at F4 with Denise rather than at F3 if I had somehow won the final challenge). Still, I did this without being truthful to Edgardo and I know that was particularly hurtful especially after getting close to him during the F8 round. However, I realized that if I gave in to my emotions and told him that I was voting for him beforehand, he was more than capable enough to use that as ammunition to turn it all around on me somehow. Maybe it was an unnecessary lie, but I didn't want to leave any room for a mistake especially since someone could still miraculously pull out an idol at that point if they had one.
And then, F4. Obviously, this is the round that caused the most amount of fallout, at least in regard to my game. I knew that voting out Natalie would be a HUGE risk and one that could potentially set me up for the embarrassment of having to argue to the jury for why my game was better than Alina's game. I had a few reasons for doing this that I want to elaborate on right now, but I'm sure I will get more questions about this as well:
1) Yes, Alina was a massive challenge threat. But the only live challenge that she won was posting-based, and I realized from looking at last season's board that the final challenge was most likely going to be puzzle-based.
2) Natalie had previously shown that she was a beast at puzzles during one of the pre-merge challenges. Alina's puzzle score wasn't nearly as good. Also, the way Natalie systematically attacked the F4 challenge was a little intimidating. I knew if she put half as much effort into the final challenge, she would win easily.
3) If Natalie had won the final challenge, I don't believe she would have taken me over Denise (and this was sort of confirmed when Denise told me at F4 that Natalie had told her that she would vote for me if Alina won that immunity).
4) Even if Natalie had taken me to the end, I would have probably lost.
5) Bringing Alina to the Final 3 meant that I would have to beat her in the final challenge to really have a shot of winning, but I was able to guarantee F2 for myself because Alina would have brought me to the end over Denise (I think Alina would corroborate this). Obviously this was not acceptable since I would still lose, but setting myself up to be guaranteed F2 was pretty nice, especially after spending the majority of the post-merge worried that I wouldn't even get a chance to defend my game in the FTC if whoever won final immunity brought Denise to the end over me.
I just want to end by saying that there is a difference between being sorry and being regretful. I am sorry for a lot of things I did in this game, because I am not actually a desperate bloodthirsty robot. I'm sorry to Colby for relentlessly campaigning to keep Malcolm in the game over Vytas on Wynn because that ended up being Colby’s downfall at merge. I'm sorry to Lex and Charlie for not really giving them a chance because I knew voting them out was in my best interest. I'm sorry to Edgardo for not telling him that I was voting him out when I easily could have. I'm sorry to Alina for getting her hopes up about the F2. And Nat, I'm sorry to you if I hurt you by voting you out. I genuinely believe that what I did to you is more than enough reason to not vote for me in the end, but I refuse to call it a stupid move strategically; in fact, I consider it my best move in this game.
I'm sorry for all of those things like any normal person would be, but the key point is that I don't regret doing any of those things. I truly believe that if I had not made each and every one of those moves, I would not be in this position right now. And I hope you all will sympathize with the very simple fact that I wanted to win this game just as much as all of you did.
P.S. In case I haven't apologized enough already, I am also sorry for how ridiculously long this is. I can already tell I'm going to get some flak (FROM ONE PERSON IN PARTICULAR) for not being concise about this, but I know from experience that this particular jury values strategy pretty highly so I wanted to make sure my strategy was completely laid bare for you all. I'd appreciate if you took the time to read it but if you want a TL;DR I can do that too. As of now, this is it:
Oh and ONE LAST THING I PROMISE. Before I forget, thank you so much to Jeremiah, Aras, Brian for hosting such a fun game and to all the viewers for keeping us entertained! I've had a blast and I definitely think this was a fun game with a great cast that led to a (mostly) exciting post-merge.
Okay, that's it. I look forward to getting completely wrecked by your questions, jury!!!