episode 11 confessional

[Kelly Goldsmith]

i have a lot of thoughts maybe i can get them all down sometime tomorrow after class

but yeah i am just really annoyed at this whole annoying bullshit about being in natalie's shadow LOL the bitch doesn't even sign on to fucking AIM most days and somehow she is getting all the strategic credit along with ed even though i was the one who formulated the entire plan with ed to idol malcolm out at f8. natalie didn't evne fucking get on until the end of that day after i messaged her like 50 times on proboards and once she got on we were just like "hey nat ed is idoling u btw" and she was like K and that was it but NO please tell me more about how she is a strategic FUCKING mastermind

ANYWAY i would voice this shit out loud but of course i need to maintain the perception that i am a worthless piece of shit who sucks at challenges and also would not win in the end
at this rate, i can't see myself NOT getting f3. if i don't get f3 i seriously fucked up big time somehow. the only thing i NEED to do is win the final IC. of course if denise is there, her winning would be good as well (unless the bitch is dumb enough to not take me to the end WHICH honestly is actually a possibility which is really fucking frightening). and then i win. and if i somehow don't win against denise then i really don't fucking deserve to be alive. but ideally i can win the final IC so i can publicly cut nat's throat and end this living in her shadow bullshit once and for all

sorry i sound really salty, i'm just fucking FRUSTRATED as hell that apparently playing a UTR low-key game and making NO enemies in the process while coasting to the end is now apparently not as good of a game as some fucking delusional douchebag who made one good move with an idol or an inactive hag who won two challenges like 3 years ago

fucking BYE

[Kelly Goldsmith]

alina keeps saying that she wants me to win the game and she will do whatever needs to be done to put me in the finals
like i believe her to a certain extent bc i really have connected with her pretty well over the past week but obviously she's not counting herself out completely just yet. it's funny to me how much trust i'm putting in someone who is completely alone and should be doing anything to save herself for one more round, and yet i can't picture her throwing me under the bus (although to be completely candid, that would actually be the best move for her at this point, since i've talked SO much shit about ed/nat/denise to her, and i've basically laid out my entire gameplan to her just bc she and i both know that i want her gone just as much as the rest of them do). but yeah i mean at this point alina needs to be on the jury, that is a guaranteed vote + someone who will actively lobby for me in ponderosa i think.

part of me hopes alina wins this immunity just so i can actually make a move and get ed out, but if she doesn't, i can't really see myself campaigning to save her. i've told her multiple times that even if she doesn't win this immunity, i will "see what i can do" in regards to saving her, but that is mostly just me blowing smoke up her ass because maybe if she has a sliver of hope from me, she won't feel compelled to approach ed or nat to possibly flip on me i am a bad person

[Kelly Goldsmith]

Edgardo Rivera 8:45 pm
I hope you wont betray me right lol

[Kelly Goldsmith]

but really i might not idk
IDK right now
god damn it alina

[Kelly Goldsmith]

i just wanted an excuse to use the sherri gif

[Kelly Goldsmith]

Kelly Goldsmith 10:31 pm
oh yeah that's true for sure
you're preaching to the choir
it's hilarious because i talk to alina and she's just like "you're nice but i can't vote for you in the end if ed or nat are there out of principle"
and it's just...mind boggling

[Kelly Goldsmith]

i love me and denise's convos
it's literally just like "NO EVERYONE HATES ME MORE"
"NO UR WRONG, EVERYONE HATES ME MORE"

i think i'm pretty confident that she'll bring me to the end if she wins final IC
and now she's on board to vote ed as well so it should be a 4-1 vote i'm sorry ed i love you more than anything but you had to have seen this one coming

LET'S GO 2/3 chance of winning this game i think if i play my cards right. i just can't let nat/alina (whichever is left at f3) win the final IC. and that is a tall fucking order

[Kelly Goldsmith]

fucking shit i knew i should have spent more time studying past ICs/TCs
FUCK FUCK FUCK

[Kelly Goldsmith]

IDK honestly i am considering trying to change the vote to natalie
the more i think about it, the more i feel like she would be tougher to beat in the final challenge
like just because she barely comes on and does anything anymore doesn't mean she's not going to try hard as fuck in the final IC, and based on past performance like the puzzle and stuff she is a complete beast. i don't really see edgardo in that way but he's also a bigger jury threat so UGH i don't know
i might just throw a vote at nat just so ed isn't bitter at me when he leaves, idk

[Alina Wilson]

Sept 16, 2014 15:17:25 GMT Kelly Goldsmith said:

part of me hopes alina wins this immunity just so i can actually make a move and get ed out, but if she doesn't, i can't really see myself campaigning to save her. i've told her multiple times that even if she doesn't win this immunity, i will "see what i can do" in regards to saving her, but that is mostly just me blowing smoke up her ass because maybe if she has a sliver of hope from me, she won't feel compelled to approach ed or nat to possibly flip on me i am a bad person

YOU BITCH

God I wasn't gonna flip on you no matter what you whore fuck you :l i never want to talk to you again!!!!!!!1 jk ily <3

[Alina Wilson]

Sept 17, 2014 2:35:49 GMT Kelly Goldsmith said:

Kelly Goldsmith 10:31 pm
oh yeah that's true for sure
you're preaching to the choir
it's hilarious because i talk to alina and she's just like "you're nice but i can't vote for you in the end if ed or nat are there out of principle"
and it's just...mind boggling

i was only saying that to get you to make sure you took denise to the end alol