Post by Kelly Goldsmith on Sept 10, 2014 3:23:50 GMT
okay i decided to quit sulking and get back to work
so yes malcolm admitted everything to me.........i actually feel so gross and stupid and worthless it's pretty awful i don't think i've ever been duped so hard in an ORG before so this is.............fun
BUT i'm not asking for a pity party. i will admit that the game gets more fun when all your expectations of winning go down the drain because then it's so much more difficult to be disappointed when you inevitably get voted out. so now instead of thinking long-term, i'm just going to try to play this one round at a time and see how far that takes me. it's fun to crawl out of a hole and if that little PISSFART malcolm was able to do it to save himself 2 rounds ago THEN I SURE AS HELL CAN AS WELL
for example, i probably can't win this challenge because i have class all day tomorrow. that's fine, that's not something that can be controlled but i just have to figure out another way to save myself and then hopefully begin an epic and completely unrealistic immunity run starting at f7.
important conversation with malcolm (where i try to buy myself another round at the end of it):
Kelly Goldsmith (10:05:36 PM): okay well
Kelly Goldsmith (10:05:41 PM): if it was 4-4-2 that means someone in our chat flipped
Kelly Goldsmith (10:05:45 PM): fml
Malcolm (10:33:24 PM): Yep
Kelly Goldsmith (10:33:51 PM): are you sure it wasn't you lmao
Kelly Goldsmith (10:33:53 PM): i won't be mad
Malcolm (10:34:02 PM): And Natalie must have told Alina to vote Charlie who then told Charlie to play the idol
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:13 PM): well that's fine
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:15 PM): but someone also flipped
Malcolm (10:34:30 PM): Wait let me count the votes again
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:43 PM): they edited it
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:47 PM): it's actually 4-4-2
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:54 PM): also alina played her idol too
Malcolm (10:39:09 PM): K, well does no good to lie at this point it was me, whole reason being I thought I was getting played and I saw an opening to get out Colby who I thought you guys would take over me because of what Ed was telling me, by my logic he had no reason to lie cause I thought he was kinda in the middle and knew your tribe dynamics so that's the whole reason why I flipped
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:41 PM): ughhhhhhhh
Malcolm (10:39:43 PM): I'll understand if your pissed at me
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:45 PM): i wish you had a better reason
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:47 PM): that is awful
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:51 PM): how did you let ed get to you like that
Malcolm (10:39:54 PM): I wish I did too
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:58 PM): he wasn't in the middle at all, he is fully with them
Malcolm (10:40:04 PM): Ugh
Kelly Goldsmith (10:40:41 PM): i'm not upset just disappointed lol
Kelly Goldsmith (10:40:45 PM): i went to bat for you against vytas
Kelly Goldsmith (10:40:51 PM): and that ended up fucking my entire game over basically
Malcolm (10:40:53 PM): Also if I'm getting out the truth now, I thought you all were legit gonna keep vytas over me after Kathy left and I saw I had - on the challenge
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:06 PM): but we didn't...........
Malcolm (10:41:07 PM): I never had an idol
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:26 PM): me/nat were going to keep you anyway
Malcolm (10:41:38 PM): Shit shit shit
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:39 PM): obviously we still gave you our negatives to keep up appearances
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:50 PM): because at that point vytas/denise thought you were the target
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:55 PM): colby/denise*
Malcolm (10:42:02 PM): I let paranoia get to me
Malcolm (10:42:10 PM): Damnit
Kelly Goldsmith (10:42:21 PM): lol i wish you were telling me that you were just a double agent for your old tribe this whole time, that would have been more understandable
Kelly Goldsmith (10:42:26 PM): but this really sucks
Kelly Goldsmith (10:42:34 PM): i feel like shit now
Malcolm (10:42:49 PM): Well if this costs me 4th I'm gonna feel like the biggest dumb ass on the planet
Kelly Goldsmith (10:43:14 PM): well does this mean you're just going to go with them now
Kelly Goldsmith (10:43:27 PM): would you really expect anything higher than 5th with them
Malcolm (10:43:49 PM): Not at all lol I'm really thinking this over
Malcolm (10:44:03 PM): Like trying to figure out a way to correct it
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:22 PM): do you know where alina got her idol from
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:45 PM): one of those idols had to be from the auction
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:54 PM): and then the other one is edgardo?S
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:56 PM): edgardo's?
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:57 PM): idk
Malcolm (10:45:00 PM): Not a clue that I do not know
Malcolm (10:45:19 PM): My guess is she got if from the auction and Charlie found the Kidd idol
Kelly Goldsmith (10:45:50 PM): lol whateveer
Kelly Goldsmith (10:45:57 PM): i don't whine about these games ever
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:04 PM): but you have to understand how utterly stupid i feel right now
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:09 PM): for campaigning to save you over vytas
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:11 PM): i sent
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:14 PM): novels to denise
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:22 PM): to convince her
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:28 PM): and now colby is gone because of me
Malcolm (10:46:39 PM): Yeah, just know that this was by no means personal at all
Malcolm (10:48:02 PM): And you'll see at the end no matter what happens in my confessionals that I wasn't doing anything to be a dick or to be like hey check this out
Kelly Goldsmith (10:48:15 PM): are you sure you just weren't with them the whole time? i'd actually find that more admirable and you'd probably still get my jury vote because you would have definitely outsmarted me completely
Kelly Goldsmith (10:48:24 PM): but this legitimately feels like the dumbest move you could have made
Kelly Goldsmith (10:48:44 PM): i don't care if you did it to be a dick or not
Kelly Goldsmith (10:49:02 PM): i'm just disappointed that edgardo actually got someone to flip
Kelly Goldsmith (10:49:03 PM): EDGARDO
Kelly Goldsmith (10:49:13 PM): is this game really going to have edgardo as the winner
Kelly Goldsmith (10:49:15 PM): i need a moment
Malcolm (10:50:02 PM): Ah Kelly I'm legit trying to say everything I can to not hurt your feelings right now
, like I don't even care about the jury vote at this point I even said in my confessional I may lose a lot of votes doing this
Kelly Goldsmith (10:50:24 PM): it's okay i don't think you have to worry about jury votes at all after that move
Malcolm (10:50:25 PM): If you want the whole truth 100% I'll give it to you just give me a sec to charge my phone
Kelly Goldsmith (10:50:32 PM): yes that would be ncie
Kelly Goldsmith (10:50:33 PM): nice*
Malcolm (10:53:10 PM): Ok screw it if this costs me votes then so be it I've been lying 3 rounds now no need to do anymore not trying to be a Russell
Malcolm (11:02:00 PM): Alright I promised curtain people at the beginning of the game I was with them before you and Natalie, I won't name who but that's basically where my head was at. When we switched tribes immediately my head went into straight survival mode because I thought every was gonna run the table on everyone. Then I thought it would be better if I worked with you guys then be against you because i thought if we don't go to tribal and we work together as a tribe if my allies are still around I can work with them. Didn't happen. Two double tcs. I showed you the Kathy screen shot because if it ever came down to me and Kathy I wanted to survive for sure. Then when Kathy left before vytas I thought fuck ok they're taking me out next what do I do? So I made up the idol and the whole Ed giving me the idol thing so there was incentive to keep me over vytas. Then the merge happened and at that point I was like ok I can jump back with these guys where I know there's no pecking order or I can risk getting 4th with Kelly, Natalie, and Colby. So no pecking order vs what I thought was a pecking order. That's what happened. I knew Denise was 5th for sure but I didn't wanna risk me getting 4th or 3rd especially with a 9 person merge with an obvious final 2. Sorry it's so long but that's the truth
Kelly Goldsmith (11:02:44 PM): yeah that's fine
Kelly Goldsmith (11:03:01 PM): just know that me/nat wanted to keep you even before i heard about the idol thing
Kelly Goldsmith (11:03:22 PM): because we just trusted you more than vytas
Kelly Goldsmith (11:03:31 PM): okay so can i ask a favor
Kelly Goldsmith (11:03:34 PM): it's a not a big one
Malcolm (11:03:37 PM): See that makes me feel like a dirt bag
Malcolm (11:03:42 PM): Yeah sure
Kelly Goldsmith (11:11:34 PM): so i'm not going to ask you to flip back because i don't think you will (feel free to correct me if i'm wrong), and that's fine. i understand that.
but all i can ask is that you save me for one more round by getting your alliance to vote either nat or denise next round.
i came into this game with the goal of 7th and that's what i want to hit at the very least. you know i have no idols, no items, nothing special, all i want is just one more round in the game. and if you can do that and then make f2, you have my jury vote 100% (mostly because i would just appreciate it, but also because you would have proven to me that you had some sort of influence in that alliance and you weren't just sheeping them). idc what you have to say lol maybe say denise or nat are bigger challenge threats than me (and the proof of that is that they were the two highest puzzle scorers in that one challenge, so you can use that as evidence to the others)
i don't expect anyone to make a huge move this round because that usually doesn't happen at f8. but at F7, if i'm still around and you're not feeling very comfortable with your alliance, then you have the option of flipping back to me and whoever between nat/denise are left (obviously you would have to bring someone along to make it a majority of 4). if you get rid of me this round you might not have that option with the others at f7. so that's just extra incentive for you, but in any case even if you don't plan on flipping back ever, i would still appreciate this as one last favor
Malcolm (11:12:55 PM): Before you posted that I was campaigning to keep you this next round anyways
Malcolm (11:13:03 PM): You're not going home next
Kelly Goldsmith (11:13:20 PM): don't make me that promise if you can't 100% keep it
Kelly Goldsmith (11:13:25 PM): i'm counting on you
Malcolm (11:14:33 PM): I'll make sure you're not going next, if I do have power in this game then you're staying
Kelly Goldsmith (11:15:00 PM): yeah i mean just tell them i suck at challenges
Kelly Goldsmith (11:15:03 PM): it's pretty true anyway
Malcolm (11:16:05 PM):
Malcolm (11:16:24 PM): You're still in this game
Kelly Goldsmith (11:16:38 PM): i can't even play in this immunity lol
Malcolm (11:16:38 PM): There's a reason it was Colby and not you or Natalie
Kelly Goldsmith (11:16:41 PM): class all day tomorrow
Kelly Goldsmith (11:16:49 PM): so it's pretty disheartening
Malcolm (11:17:27 PM): Oh yeah I'd be pissed
Malcolm (11:18:08 PM): Btw the real talks we've had 100% real so don't think that was fake I'm not that sick of a person lol
well anyway that's all for now, i'm going to go cry myself to sleep good night!!!!
so yes malcolm admitted everything to me.........i actually feel so gross and stupid and worthless it's pretty awful i don't think i've ever been duped so hard in an ORG before so this is.............fun
BUT i'm not asking for a pity party. i will admit that the game gets more fun when all your expectations of winning go down the drain because then it's so much more difficult to be disappointed when you inevitably get voted out. so now instead of thinking long-term, i'm just going to try to play this one round at a time and see how far that takes me. it's fun to crawl out of a hole and if that little PISSFART malcolm was able to do it to save himself 2 rounds ago THEN I SURE AS HELL CAN AS WELL
for example, i probably can't win this challenge because i have class all day tomorrow. that's fine, that's not something that can be controlled but i just have to figure out another way to save myself and then hopefully begin an epic and completely unrealistic immunity run starting at f7.
important conversation with malcolm (where i try to buy myself another round at the end of it):
Kelly Goldsmith (10:05:36 PM): okay well
Kelly Goldsmith (10:05:41 PM): if it was 4-4-2 that means someone in our chat flipped
Kelly Goldsmith (10:05:45 PM): fml
Malcolm (10:33:24 PM): Yep
Kelly Goldsmith (10:33:51 PM): are you sure it wasn't you lmao
Kelly Goldsmith (10:33:53 PM): i won't be mad
Malcolm (10:34:02 PM): And Natalie must have told Alina to vote Charlie who then told Charlie to play the idol
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:13 PM): well that's fine
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:15 PM): but someone also flipped
Malcolm (10:34:30 PM): Wait let me count the votes again
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:43 PM): they edited it
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:47 PM): it's actually 4-4-2
Kelly Goldsmith (10:34:54 PM): also alina played her idol too
Malcolm (10:39:09 PM): K, well does no good to lie at this point it was me, whole reason being I thought I was getting played and I saw an opening to get out Colby who I thought you guys would take over me because of what Ed was telling me, by my logic he had no reason to lie cause I thought he was kinda in the middle and knew your tribe dynamics so that's the whole reason why I flipped
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:41 PM): ughhhhhhhh
Malcolm (10:39:43 PM): I'll understand if your pissed at me
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:45 PM): i wish you had a better reason
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:47 PM): that is awful
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:51 PM): how did you let ed get to you like that
Malcolm (10:39:54 PM): I wish I did too
Kelly Goldsmith (10:39:58 PM): he wasn't in the middle at all, he is fully with them
Malcolm (10:40:04 PM): Ugh
Kelly Goldsmith (10:40:41 PM): i'm not upset just disappointed lol
Kelly Goldsmith (10:40:45 PM): i went to bat for you against vytas
Kelly Goldsmith (10:40:51 PM): and that ended up fucking my entire game over basically
Malcolm (10:40:53 PM): Also if I'm getting out the truth now, I thought you all were legit gonna keep vytas over me after Kathy left and I saw I had - on the challenge
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:06 PM): but we didn't...........
Malcolm (10:41:07 PM): I never had an idol
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:26 PM): me/nat were going to keep you anyway
Malcolm (10:41:38 PM): Shit shit shit
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:39 PM): obviously we still gave you our negatives to keep up appearances
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:50 PM): because at that point vytas/denise thought you were the target
Kelly Goldsmith (10:41:55 PM): colby/denise*
Malcolm (10:42:02 PM): I let paranoia get to me
Malcolm (10:42:10 PM): Damnit
Kelly Goldsmith (10:42:21 PM): lol i wish you were telling me that you were just a double agent for your old tribe this whole time, that would have been more understandable
Kelly Goldsmith (10:42:26 PM): but this really sucks
Kelly Goldsmith (10:42:34 PM): i feel like shit now
Malcolm (10:42:49 PM): Well if this costs me 4th I'm gonna feel like the biggest dumb ass on the planet
Kelly Goldsmith (10:43:14 PM): well does this mean you're just going to go with them now
Kelly Goldsmith (10:43:27 PM): would you really expect anything higher than 5th with them
Malcolm (10:43:49 PM): Not at all lol I'm really thinking this over
Malcolm (10:44:03 PM): Like trying to figure out a way to correct it
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:22 PM): do you know where alina got her idol from
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:45 PM): one of those idols had to be from the auction
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:54 PM): and then the other one is edgardo?S
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:56 PM): edgardo's?
Kelly Goldsmith (10:44:57 PM): idk
Malcolm (10:45:00 PM): Not a clue that I do not know
Malcolm (10:45:19 PM): My guess is she got if from the auction and Charlie found the Kidd idol
Kelly Goldsmith (10:45:50 PM): lol whateveer
Kelly Goldsmith (10:45:57 PM): i don't whine about these games ever
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:04 PM): but you have to understand how utterly stupid i feel right now
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:09 PM): for campaigning to save you over vytas
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:11 PM): i sent
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:14 PM): novels to denise
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:22 PM): to convince her
Kelly Goldsmith (10:46:28 PM): and now colby is gone because of me
Malcolm (10:46:39 PM): Yeah, just know that this was by no means personal at all
Malcolm (10:48:02 PM): And you'll see at the end no matter what happens in my confessionals that I wasn't doing anything to be a dick or to be like hey check this out
Kelly Goldsmith (10:48:15 PM): are you sure you just weren't with them the whole time? i'd actually find that more admirable and you'd probably still get my jury vote because you would have definitely outsmarted me completely
Kelly Goldsmith (10:48:24 PM): but this legitimately feels like the dumbest move you could have made
Kelly Goldsmith (10:48:44 PM): i don't care if you did it to be a dick or not
Kelly Goldsmith (10:49:02 PM): i'm just disappointed that edgardo actually got someone to flip
Kelly Goldsmith (10:49:03 PM): EDGARDO
Kelly Goldsmith (10:49:13 PM): is this game really going to have edgardo as the winner
Kelly Goldsmith (10:49:15 PM): i need a moment
Malcolm (10:50:02 PM): Ah Kelly I'm legit trying to say everything I can to not hurt your feelings right now
, like I don't even care about the jury vote at this point I even said in my confessional I may lose a lot of votes doing thisKelly Goldsmith (10:50:24 PM): it's okay i don't think you have to worry about jury votes at all after that move
Malcolm (10:50:25 PM): If you want the whole truth 100% I'll give it to you just give me a sec to charge my phone
Kelly Goldsmith (10:50:32 PM): yes that would be ncie
Kelly Goldsmith (10:50:33 PM): nice*
Malcolm (10:53:10 PM): Ok screw it if this costs me votes then so be it I've been lying 3 rounds now no need to do anymore not trying to be a Russell
Malcolm (11:02:00 PM): Alright I promised curtain people at the beginning of the game I was with them before you and Natalie, I won't name who but that's basically where my head was at. When we switched tribes immediately my head went into straight survival mode because I thought every was gonna run the table on everyone. Then I thought it would be better if I worked with you guys then be against you because i thought if we don't go to tribal and we work together as a tribe if my allies are still around I can work with them. Didn't happen. Two double tcs. I showed you the Kathy screen shot because if it ever came down to me and Kathy I wanted to survive for sure. Then when Kathy left before vytas I thought fuck ok they're taking me out next what do I do? So I made up the idol and the whole Ed giving me the idol thing so there was incentive to keep me over vytas. Then the merge happened and at that point I was like ok I can jump back with these guys where I know there's no pecking order or I can risk getting 4th with Kelly, Natalie, and Colby. So no pecking order vs what I thought was a pecking order. That's what happened. I knew Denise was 5th for sure but I didn't wanna risk me getting 4th or 3rd especially with a 9 person merge with an obvious final 2. Sorry it's so long but that's the truth
Kelly Goldsmith (11:02:44 PM): yeah that's fine
Kelly Goldsmith (11:03:01 PM): just know that me/nat wanted to keep you even before i heard about the idol thing
Kelly Goldsmith (11:03:22 PM): because we just trusted you more than vytas
Kelly Goldsmith (11:03:31 PM): okay so can i ask a favor
Kelly Goldsmith (11:03:34 PM): it's a not a big one
Malcolm (11:03:37 PM): See that makes me feel like a dirt bag
Malcolm (11:03:42 PM): Yeah sure
Kelly Goldsmith (11:11:34 PM): so i'm not going to ask you to flip back because i don't think you will (feel free to correct me if i'm wrong), and that's fine. i understand that.
but all i can ask is that you save me for one more round by getting your alliance to vote either nat or denise next round.
i came into this game with the goal of 7th and that's what i want to hit at the very least. you know i have no idols, no items, nothing special, all i want is just one more round in the game. and if you can do that and then make f2, you have my jury vote 100% (mostly because i would just appreciate it, but also because you would have proven to me that you had some sort of influence in that alliance and you weren't just sheeping them). idc what you have to say lol maybe say denise or nat are bigger challenge threats than me (and the proof of that is that they were the two highest puzzle scorers in that one challenge, so you can use that as evidence to the others)
i don't expect anyone to make a huge move this round because that usually doesn't happen at f8. but at F7, if i'm still around and you're not feeling very comfortable with your alliance, then you have the option of flipping back to me and whoever between nat/denise are left (obviously you would have to bring someone along to make it a majority of 4). if you get rid of me this round you might not have that option with the others at f7. so that's just extra incentive for you, but in any case even if you don't plan on flipping back ever, i would still appreciate this as one last favor
Malcolm (11:12:55 PM): Before you posted that I was campaigning to keep you this next round anyways
Malcolm (11:13:03 PM): You're not going home next
Kelly Goldsmith (11:13:20 PM): don't make me that promise if you can't 100% keep it
Kelly Goldsmith (11:13:25 PM): i'm counting on you
Malcolm (11:14:33 PM): I'll make sure you're not going next, if I do have power in this game then you're staying
Kelly Goldsmith (11:15:00 PM): yeah i mean just tell them i suck at challenges
Kelly Goldsmith (11:15:03 PM): it's pretty true anyway
Malcolm (11:16:05 PM):
Malcolm (11:16:24 PM): You're still in this game
Kelly Goldsmith (11:16:38 PM): i can't even play in this immunity lol
Malcolm (11:16:38 PM): There's a reason it was Colby and not you or Natalie
Kelly Goldsmith (11:16:41 PM): class all day tomorrow
Kelly Goldsmith (11:16:49 PM): so it's pretty disheartening
Malcolm (11:17:27 PM): Oh yeah I'd be pissed
Malcolm (11:18:08 PM): Btw the real talks we've had 100% real so don't think that was fake I'm not that sick of a person lol
well anyway that's all for now, i'm going to go cry myself to sleep good night!!!!
