Round 2 - FUTURE LEGENDARY CHILDREN

[chet]

My dolls!  I have now secured two of my FUTURE LEGENDARY CHILDREN!  Furry Pillow and Elmo!  Well- we haven't approached Elmo yet but I KNOW she will be thrilled to be apart of the alliance since she was so afraid of leaving first!  We agreed to be careful in our approach, we can't let her think me and Furry Pillow came up with a final 2 and then decided to include her.  Of course Furry Pillow and Elmo could have already had this conversation already and are doing the same with me!  However it matters not how it is formed, with this three QUEEN alliance we shall RULE over HOUSE LOWE.  

Beware SLUT and Helen Keller (my new name for Sandra, she never talks!)  Your days are numbered!  PREPARE FOR THE INCOMING RED WEDDING!  Instead of shooting crossbolts into your pitiful bodies I will SLAP A HOE OFF THIS ISLAND.  *snap*

So we have discovered that Elmo is actually a PUBLISHED AUTHOR.  Non-paid but nonetheless she has written before and was good enough to get published.  I just hope it's not Twilight Erotic Fan-fiction.  ...or maybe I do, I could use a little excitement this evening.  Anyway!  She has been a doll and has taken charge of this challenge and has come up with a fabulous story!  Naturally this will be quite a lot of pressure on her to do well but I have faith in my 3rd person talking muppet!  She will help us SLAY the competition!!

Well that is all for tonight my children, Mother Chet is quite tired after rubbing warm oils all over Enrique last night and tomorrow I have a WINE TRADE SHOW I will be attending.  IT WILL BE HEAVEN IN A GLASS (or twenty.)  

Ta-ta!

[Host Brian]

Thank you for improving the quality of my life.

[chet]

So apparently Elmo spent all of that time writing the story but then didn't bother to submit it.

I am on a tribe of idiots.

[chet]

Okay so now that I have finished with that dreadful voting business.... actually it was quite lovely sending Helen Keller PACKING. THE FOOLS! WHO THE FUCK DOES NOT SUBMIT ANYTHING!

How DARE they make me feel guilty about going to a WINE SHOW! A WINE. SHOW. FREE WINE. Momma Chet will NEVER miss such an opportunity! It was so fabulous. Handsome dressed men everywhere, wine for DAYSZZ and Mahi Mahi SLIDERS. I may have slid several down my throat if you know what I mean. ;-) The highlight of the evening was a mix of WHORECHATA and RUM! DIVINE!

What is that, are you saying something? "Why Chet, you ignorant SLUT!" You are thinking. "WHORECHATA is not spelled like that!" Oh but darlings IT IS. Because it certainly made me a whore last night! Enrique didn't know what HIT him when I returned home! The poor boy will be walking funny for days.

Ahem.

Anyhoo, I established an official alliance with Elmo as of this evening, and confirmed with Furry Pillow that he did as well. We are hoping she will make the connection to propose a 3 way alliance with both Furry Pillow and myself so she thinks she came up with it. If she doesn't then we will have to nudge her in that direction. WE HAVE CONTROL OF THIS TRAINWRECK OF A TRIBE!

I suppose that wraps things for ole round 2 my dolls! I feel FABULOUS, even if I have had wine farts all day. Dear my, dreadful smelling things. You saw the AFTERMATH at Tribal Council! Jeremiah darling, I expect to see you at midnight in my cabana. I have a couple of coconuts for us to SPLIT!

Ta-ta!